Birth to death and everything in between

So Sunday I taught Sunday School, then went to a birth, then yesterday drove to PA for a Celebration of Life for my former brother-in-law. I drove back home today. I'm exhausted and have accomplished nothing today, except saving my husband from our new mouser kitties, who didn't want to get out of the truck when he got them home.

He also brought home tons of bread. He is working with a semi-homeless person who keeps giving us bread from the soup kitchen, which honestly, is very welcome.

So the service was nice. I got to see a lot of David's family that I haven't seen in several years. His one aunt and uncle are Born Again Christians and the look on his aunt's face when I told her I was going to seminary to become a parish minister was....priceless. She considered (s?) David and I to be Godless heathens (oh, and we're liberal to boot), and I'm sure she thought I must be planning to minister to some satanic cult. I sealed the deal by referencing God as often as possible (after all, I have God, it's just different than it might be for her). I wasn't being malicious, but it was amusing to see her inability to see me in that role. I even mentioned that I could see how I seemed an unlikely candidate. It is still affording me considerable amusement.

I had a nice chat with David's dad, and my mother went and was mostly on her best behavior. David's sister mentioned her gratitude for me bringing the girls multiple times, which was nice; our last interactions were rather fraught with tension. There were some wonderful pictures of Mark, which I had seen before, but it was touching to see them all in one place. It is strange to be ex-family. I knew all those people and had broken bread with them, and knew which picture was David's favorite. But five years has made it really really good to spend time with them, and to remember Mark together.

It's so good to be home. I had a lovely girl-to-girl chat with my hostess last night (an old friend), and slept poorly because Lucy kicked me all night. Tomorrow is another full day - I'm not sure when I will get the laundry caught up.

I am really, really exhausted, which may explain the incoherence of this post, but one last thing - the cats. Tom has been working for this woman who helps people out and restores urban houses that are in bad shape, and some guy ended up moving his cats in, but not himself and then left them there for two months, and kept calling every day to say he was having dreams about them and to check on them, but didn't bring them food or anything ;). So she gave him a date to get them out by and he didn't, so Tom brought them here, because we need mousers, and they've been together forever (I only wanted one cat), and they're parked under my bed. They don't like Tom much, because they both scratched him, and the old one ran off behind the house, but came to me right away.

Oh, and one last thing. I had an interview yesterday morning before I left, for a case management position and it went really, really well. But it would really make homeschooling activities a challenge, and the money sucks. I know I would love it though...but I think I'll hold out for something part-time...or maybe they hated me!

Intentional Action and Ministerial Authority (oh, and a baby!)i

I had the amazing privilege to be at the homebirth of a friend of mine today. I got to rub her back, and clean her bathroom, and watch her baby be born with two of my children by my side. I got to see the father's eyes light up and his gentle love when he held his son for the first time. I got to cry with my daughter and the mama's mama and father when the baby was born. I got an impetuous gift of a drawing from her formerly youngest child. I got to hold a brand new, wet, gorgeous baby who rooted at my chest, as he is supposed to do. I got to hold him close and see his skin pink up, and fall absolutely in love with him. I got to compliment his mama on how stunningly, glowingly gorgeous she was as she calmly and peacefully labored and breathed and welcomed into the world with her own two hands.

I have been to several births, besides my own, but never a homebirth (other than my own). It was perfect and a gift and a blessing and as close to God as you can possibly get to see a new life breathe in and become one of us.

The reason for the title of this post is that iMinister posted today about Ministerial Authority, and it rung true for me given my experience today with birth, although I haven't dealt much with death yet. She says:

"It is related to feeling secure in the knowledge that you, in your ministerial role, have something of value to deliver and you know the conditions of delivering it. So you march right up to the boss nurse in the ICU and request the room number for the patient who, she says, won't even know you are there. You know that you and the patient and the patient's family need you to be there and you stand in front of her until she lets you be there."

I think that authority to be intentional and loving in a given situation can occur whether you're a minister or not - it comes with experience in situations where you need to be intentional - where you have to be outside of yourself and experience true compassion and love for those you are with. I am bone tired tonight. I cannot remember the last time I was this tired and I can't imagine how midwives do what they do.

Ten years ago, I would have been in the way. I would have had my own agenda. Today, I could sit back, be encouraging and compassionate, look at what needed to be done and do it. I could be sensitive to the idea that family needed time to bond and have privacy and give them space to do that - it was not all about me, even though I was invited to be there. My presence was a gift given to me - a privilege, not a right. I believe that minstering is like that - it is a privilege, and you have to look around you, see what needs to be done, do it, and be aware of where space is needed, and where you are needed.

I am happy and tired and blessed. Thank you, dear friend, for allowing me to be present as your beautiful son entered this world and took his first breath.