So, after my angst about going (somewhat deserved), I'm home again! The first 24 hours were sheer hell emotionally. I was homesick, I was intimidated by the leader and the women's circle, I cried, I was cold, and I was totally outside my comfort zone. Then I took some time to meditate alone in my tent, with great intention, about getting present and focused and open... and an incredible shift happened.
I asked for what I needed. I became my authentic, imperfect self in the group. I met my mentee and immediately fell in love with her. I engaged in all the exhausting, exhilarating physical, emotional and spiritual work of the weekend (I am still exhausted). I watched my daughter have an amazing experience separate from, yet connected to my own. I cried and laughed and was in community with a fucking awesome circle of women and girls - I have been avoiding this circle thing like the plague for years - and had yet another entire transformation.
I realized that I have a hard time taking up space, asking for what I need, and getting attention. I have vowed to do a better job learning to take care of myself in groups, not just in 1:1 relationships. I made friends, I met fabulous teens, and I can't even describe the weekend. It was intense, frightening, fabulous, comforting, nurturing, push and shove out of everyone's box...and spiritual.
Thank God I knew a few of the women there....but I met so many, So Many wonderful and wise women there.
And it's good to be home. I feel trialed by fire and Emma does too, but we're closer and better for it. I can't wait for Soren to go.
Showing posts with label courage. Show all posts
Showing posts with label courage. Show all posts
Monday, August 10, 2009
Monday, March 2, 2009
Coming Clean at Church
The Alban Institute - 2009-03-02 Ministry in Hard Times
This article really resonates with me, and I bet with a bunch of other people, especially in UU churches.
This article really resonates with me, and I bet with a bunch of other people, especially in UU churches.
Wednesday, February 18, 2009
Moral dilemmas
I was doing some research and came across this recent article on Israel and Gaza.
It says much of what I have been feeling about the issue, and also about feeling tongue-tied about speaking up about this particular violence. How do religious leaders speak out about violence, even religious violence, and still respect the global religious plurality that is growing?
The author says:
The choice for progressive Christian leaders today is not between guilt-ridden silence and full-throated denunciation of Israeli policy and Israeli aggression. It is certainly not a choice between keeping silent and presuming to lecture Jews on Judaic ethics. Rather, the choice lies between the kind of craven irresponsibility that continued silence represents and a public moral stance that accords well with Obamian aspiration: What kind of country do we want to be?
I think we need to broaden this question beyond our national borders and this particular issue. What kind of humans do we want to be? Supporting through silence, violence of any kind, is a kind of action in and of itself, is it not? Omission can be a sin.
It says much of what I have been feeling about the issue, and also about feeling tongue-tied about speaking up about this particular violence. How do religious leaders speak out about violence, even religious violence, and still respect the global religious plurality that is growing?
The author says:
The choice for progressive Christian leaders today is not between guilt-ridden silence and full-throated denunciation of Israeli policy and Israeli aggression. It is certainly not a choice between keeping silent and presuming to lecture Jews on Judaic ethics. Rather, the choice lies between the kind of craven irresponsibility that continued silence represents and a public moral stance that accords well with Obamian aspiration: What kind of country do we want to be?
I think we need to broaden this question beyond our national borders and this particular issue. What kind of humans do we want to be? Supporting through silence, violence of any kind, is a kind of action in and of itself, is it not? Omission can be a sin.
Monday, January 5, 2009
Unitarian Christianity, dignity and worth, and death
I don't have time to discuss in depth this moment, but I am reading Channing's sermon on the topic and am filled with humility. It's stunning to me that ministers preached like this to their congregations, not so long ago. And the courage to stand up in a predominately Christian culture and proclaim such things, to me rivals the courage of those who stood against Calvin. For sure, Channing probably doesn't fear being executed for his views, but there are certainly potentional serious repercussions.
Very powerful stuff. A good way to start the day.
Penguin hung on through the night and is in X-Ray right now; I am waiting for a call back. He's doing poorly, so I doubt it will end well, but I feel that we made the right decision to let him fight.
I've been struggling with both ends of life, and death this week. My friend and I had a deep and loving discussion about our different views on abortion. One reason she will not return to the UU church is because she abhors it's support for abortion rights, and feels that it goes against the principle of the inherent worth and dignity of every person - both because, most especially in late-term abortions, the unborn is often viable, and in the sense that in her mind, it allows women to accept the murders of such viable life in a horrific fashion. She presented this argument in a way that I have never been touched before by the tenets of pro-life argument, and I am still struggling with it. Granted, we all have our personal experiences that inform us in these beliefs, and hers and mine have been quite different, but I have had a new vista of belief and thought opened up to me.
On the other end of life, I was standing with the vet yesterday and felt a moral and spiritual difficulty with the choice to euthanize. I do understand that Penguin is not a person... but as a part of our family, he is afforded some dignity and worth. I think it's about choice on some level. I believe that the terminally ill, with free will, should be able to choose to die when their quality of life, in their own view, has exhausted itself. But how can I make that choice for another, even a cat, whose will to live continues to burn so strongly that he survived hours beyond what we thought he could. I would have been playing God and I could have been right, or wrong. I won't know ever. But I suspect I'll be asked again within the hour to play "God," and I don't know what to do.
Very powerful stuff. A good way to start the day.
Penguin hung on through the night and is in X-Ray right now; I am waiting for a call back. He's doing poorly, so I doubt it will end well, but I feel that we made the right decision to let him fight.
I've been struggling with both ends of life, and death this week. My friend and I had a deep and loving discussion about our different views on abortion. One reason she will not return to the UU church is because she abhors it's support for abortion rights, and feels that it goes against the principle of the inherent worth and dignity of every person - both because, most especially in late-term abortions, the unborn is often viable, and in the sense that in her mind, it allows women to accept the murders of such viable life in a horrific fashion. She presented this argument in a way that I have never been touched before by the tenets of pro-life argument, and I am still struggling with it. Granted, we all have our personal experiences that inform us in these beliefs, and hers and mine have been quite different, but I have had a new vista of belief and thought opened up to me.
On the other end of life, I was standing with the vet yesterday and felt a moral and spiritual difficulty with the choice to euthanize. I do understand that Penguin is not a person... but as a part of our family, he is afforded some dignity and worth. I think it's about choice on some level. I believe that the terminally ill, with free will, should be able to choose to die when their quality of life, in their own view, has exhausted itself. But how can I make that choice for another, even a cat, whose will to live continues to burn so strongly that he survived hours beyond what we thought he could. I would have been playing God and I could have been right, or wrong. I won't know ever. But I suspect I'll be asked again within the hour to play "God," and I don't know what to do.
Wednesday, July 30, 2008
Knoxville
So many people have written lovingly and compassionately about what happened in Knoxville, TN this past Sunday.
To know what my brothers and sisters in faith suffered because of hatred of the generalized "liberal" has brought me to tears more than once over the last few days. I also find myself trying to put myself in the shoes of the minister there, as he cares for his congregants, deals with the public, and presumably tries to come to terms with the whole thing himself. That is truly putting faith into action. I hope that I can be as brave and intelligent when faced with whatever comes my way on this ministerial path.
If anything though, I am not more afraid. My calling feels stronger than ever; I started out as a writer who wanted to reach the world in a compelling and loving way with words - there have been many posts about the so-called journalists who spew hatred that perhaps incite violence where it's already brewing. But the media continues to be an anti-progressive force, and those who write intelligently about progressive issues are pushed to the sidelines, or made to look like fringe lunatics; never getting the mainstream spotlight, but preaching to the choir, as they say.
So I feel more strongly than ever that I must respond to this deep inner calling; to be a force of change in this crazy world. I hold all the people touched by this tragedy in light; I hope the force of all the love out there for you can help to offset some of the horror.
To know what my brothers and sisters in faith suffered because of hatred of the generalized "liberal" has brought me to tears more than once over the last few days. I also find myself trying to put myself in the shoes of the minister there, as he cares for his congregants, deals with the public, and presumably tries to come to terms with the whole thing himself. That is truly putting faith into action. I hope that I can be as brave and intelligent when faced with whatever comes my way on this ministerial path.
If anything though, I am not more afraid. My calling feels stronger than ever; I started out as a writer who wanted to reach the world in a compelling and loving way with words - there have been many posts about the so-called journalists who spew hatred that perhaps incite violence where it's already brewing. But the media continues to be an anti-progressive force, and those who write intelligently about progressive issues are pushed to the sidelines, or made to look like fringe lunatics; never getting the mainstream spotlight, but preaching to the choir, as they say.
So I feel more strongly than ever that I must respond to this deep inner calling; to be a force of change in this crazy world. I hold all the people touched by this tragedy in light; I hope the force of all the love out there for you can help to offset some of the horror.
Friday, May 16, 2008
Common Fire
I'm reading a book for a class called Common Fire: leading lives of commitment in a complex world.
It talks about a research project that looks at what sorts of things contribute to people being committed community builders - not just in their family, or their neighborhood, but in a broader sense.
The story of Emmanuel Jal is one about a child who was saved by someone willing to step outside her box. I think just reading the intro and listening to his song Emma is inspiring. Listen to it, and listen to the story if you have a chance. One person can make such a difference. Be the change.
It talks about a research project that looks at what sorts of things contribute to people being committed community builders - not just in their family, or their neighborhood, but in a broader sense.
The story of Emmanuel Jal is one about a child who was saved by someone willing to step outside her box. I think just reading the intro and listening to his song Emma is inspiring. Listen to it, and listen to the story if you have a chance. One person can make such a difference. Be the change.
Thursday, May 15, 2008
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