Thursday, October 15, 2009

The universe speaks

But how do you put what you hear into practice? Time and time again, I am reminded that I often (always?) put self-care last. I have a crushing schedule this fall but life has thrown me three curve balls in a month - 3 of my children have had needs that need immediate and time-consuming attention (in addition to the usual attention they get, which may not be enough but is probably more than most kids get?).

Daily spiritual practice. Check. I need something more in-depth. Something that I can focus on better. It's not cutting it anymore.

Hot showers with nobody bothering me. Check.

Sleep. Check - I sleep hard most of the time, but this week not so much. Too much to do, no time, and too much worry. It'll come back.

Support. Check. Some fab friends, seminary colleagues, a spiritual mentor and an awesome doctor.

But I am exhausted. I cannot remember ever being so tired. The last time I cried so much was when my first husband and I separated. I am still doing my schoolwork but I don't know how much of my reading I'm retaining. Can someone send me the cliff notes for Judges? Because that's not done, and I can't imagine reading it tomorrow ;).

I'm not sure what else I can do take care of myself other than a spa vacation, which I can't afford in money or time. Getting time alone is impossible as it is.

Just send light, prayers, loving thoughts, lottery tickets, books on tape, whatever it may be. Or if the universe would perhaps like to be more specific about what I should be doing to avert crises (which I don't even believe in anymore), that would be OK too.

1 comment:

Paul Oakley said...

Hang in there Kelly!

BTW, be sure to check the Hebrew Scriptures Moodle site because instead of writing a response to Judges, Brian wants us to, by 10/25, send him a one page summary of ideas, secondary sources, and specific theses we might be interested in pursuing for our final paper. He will give feedback to help us get going down a productive path.

Brian still wants us to read Judges, but no response this time. Try to get some sleep!