I seldom comment on political topics, because others are so much more eloquent than I, but I am increasingly frustrated with the political furor over the Mosque "on" Ground Zero, and even on Obama's comments. I am constantly amazed at disinformation and how easily "herd" mentality takes over, as Dowd says. When are Americans going to stop being so narrow-minded and gullible? When are they going to act like educated adults instead of the boys in Lord of the Flies?
I am also really enjoying the 12 part (so far) conversation over at East of Midnight on RE for kids and adults. I added a few comments, fwiw.
I am struggling to finish some reading and writing for the start of school's convocation. Whoever thought it would be a good idea to give summer homework while were all in CPE?
Our last week of vacation is starting with rain, which is putting a crimp in my plans to go to the Finger Lakes, as is the falling through of a house sitter, which I had hoped would buy us a few days at Lake George, or even the Eastern Shore. :::sigh::: I guess that buys me extra time to do the aforementioned homework.
I have been slowly getting the house uncluttered from the summer, and trying to figure out how to manage 6 people's schedules in the measly amount of hours allotted to a day. Seminary + work + community college for the teen + homeschooling programs and academia for the other 2 + plus keeping the preschooler alive seems like a gargantuan task. Thank the heavens for Google Calendar!
I also need to plan the Boy's birthday party. How did that happen so fast? Ideas for cheap and fun presents for a six year old would be appreciated. So far he's getting a plasma car, which he's super excited about.
Showing posts with label homeschooling. Show all posts
Showing posts with label homeschooling. Show all posts
Sunday, August 22, 2010
Friday, May 14, 2010
Lilac Festival
I don't have pics off my phone yet, but we had such a great day. I took the morning off of work and took the three youngest kids to the Science Museum. Jude (5.5) has decided that this place is more fun than the Strong Museum of Play, because there are dinosaurs there. He wants to be a paleontologist this week. We dropped off some clothes for a friend, and off to the museum!
They had a great time and enjoyed watching the new Brain exhibit going up for May 22nd. We can't wait to go back and see it live! We had a picnic lunch out on the lawn, and then went to pick up my oldest at her science lab at the University of Rochester (science Friday for all!). Oddly enough, her lab was also on the brain - they got to work with cat brain matter (can you say ewww?) and did some diagnoses from real case studies.
Then we were off to the Lilac Festival. Honestly, it was a perfect opening day. The lilacs are still out though are starting to fade, but it was sunny and around 70F after a rainy, cool morning. We met up with a friend and her kids, and then the teens met up with some other teens and wandered off for awhile. Much tree climbing was done by all, and I am exhausted from pushing 70lbs of kids in the double stroller. We went on the little train and the carousel; smelled the flowers, and then were off to the final performance of the girls' Waldorf program plays!
Soren was in a performance of Prometheus. Disaster! We got to the school, and realized that her costume, in a shopping bag, had been passed on with the other clothes we dropped off earlier! Many tears - but Emma to the rescue! She had a toga and tunic for her role in Antony and Cleopatra (turns out Soren like it better than her original one!). BUT, Emma forgot to give her dad the video camera, so no video of the performance. Oh well! Another dad took vid, so I'll try to get a copy.
I had already seen the oldest class perform Antony and Cleopatra on Tuesday and WOW. Emma was Octavius Caesar. I can't believe this is her last performance there. I am so sad that she is graduating :(. Off to community college next year for her first college classes, and we are going to start taking Zumba together!
Anyway, both performances were awesome. Lucy and I left early to get her to bed and now I am supposed to be working but wanted to give a quick update as I've been absent. I'm enjoying my time off from school and am doing mad spring cleaning.
They had a great time and enjoyed watching the new Brain exhibit going up for May 22nd. We can't wait to go back and see it live! We had a picnic lunch out on the lawn, and then went to pick up my oldest at her science lab at the University of Rochester (science Friday for all!). Oddly enough, her lab was also on the brain - they got to work with cat brain matter (can you say ewww?) and did some diagnoses from real case studies.
Then we were off to the Lilac Festival. Honestly, it was a perfect opening day. The lilacs are still out though are starting to fade, but it was sunny and around 70F after a rainy, cool morning. We met up with a friend and her kids, and then the teens met up with some other teens and wandered off for awhile. Much tree climbing was done by all, and I am exhausted from pushing 70lbs of kids in the double stroller. We went on the little train and the carousel; smelled the flowers, and then were off to the final performance of the girls' Waldorf program plays!
Soren was in a performance of Prometheus. Disaster! We got to the school, and realized that her costume, in a shopping bag, had been passed on with the other clothes we dropped off earlier! Many tears - but Emma to the rescue! She had a toga and tunic for her role in Antony and Cleopatra (turns out Soren like it better than her original one!). BUT, Emma forgot to give her dad the video camera, so no video of the performance. Oh well! Another dad took vid, so I'll try to get a copy.
I had already seen the oldest class perform Antony and Cleopatra on Tuesday and WOW. Emma was Octavius Caesar. I can't believe this is her last performance there. I am so sad that she is graduating :(. Off to community college next year for her first college classes, and we are going to start taking Zumba together!
Anyway, both performances were awesome. Lucy and I left early to get her to bed and now I am supposed to be working but wanted to give a quick update as I've been absent. I'm enjoying my time off from school and am doing mad spring cleaning.
Tuesday, February 9, 2010
Tuesday Win!
I feel like my brain is overflowing, which makes it hard to be truly present at all. Ever. I have New Testatment readings from four books, readings for Community Studies, my site work goals (and 8 hours a week there), two part-time jobs, and homeschooling the kids.
Jude and Lucy are suddenly fascinated with learning to write, and for Jude, to start reading. It's really exciting, and I'm spending a dedicated portion of every morning reading and helping them with letters. Yesterday, we spent 45 minutes practicing different numbers and letters by tracing them in flour with the index finger. They loved it! Jude even wrote some letters in his workbook with a pencil.
Today, I managed to do what I wanted to accomplish for the first time since I got home! 3 hours of work, getting everyone where they needed to go, minor cleaning, and I had dinner ready when my husband got home! Now I have a meeting for school and a sermon on gay marriage to finish, but I don't have to work tonight (unless I make some phone calls for church).
I feel so accomplished! My joy seems to be coming back. I attribute it to a kid at the shelter who unexpectedly hugs me at random moments. Grace appears where you least expect it.
I am a woman
born of God
I am a woman
born of love
I am caring and competent
vulnerable and powerful
seeking wholeness
physically, emotionally, and spiritually
I am a woman
reaching out to others
making a difference in myself
my family
community
church and the world
I am empowering myself
to empower others
I am struggling to accept my anger
and use it to gain strength, confidence,
courage, and intimacy with others
I am a woman
who sees the interconnectedness of all human beings
who values the unique gifts of all
I am a woman who leads and follows
who accepts responsibility for myself
and the choices I make
Yes, I am a woman
who sees each day as a new beginning
a chance to grow in self, love and service
I am a woman
born of God
I am a woman
born of love
And I can be
All that I am
- Ms. Katherine Tyler Scott, in Women's Uncommon Prayer Book
Jude and Lucy are suddenly fascinated with learning to write, and for Jude, to start reading. It's really exciting, and I'm spending a dedicated portion of every morning reading and helping them with letters. Yesterday, we spent 45 minutes practicing different numbers and letters by tracing them in flour with the index finger. They loved it! Jude even wrote some letters in his workbook with a pencil.
Today, I managed to do what I wanted to accomplish for the first time since I got home! 3 hours of work, getting everyone where they needed to go, minor cleaning, and I had dinner ready when my husband got home! Now I have a meeting for school and a sermon on gay marriage to finish, but I don't have to work tonight (unless I make some phone calls for church).
I feel so accomplished! My joy seems to be coming back. I attribute it to a kid at the shelter who unexpectedly hugs me at random moments. Grace appears where you least expect it.
I am a womanborn of God
I am a woman
born of love
I am caring and competent
vulnerable and powerful
seeking wholeness
physically, emotionally, and spiritually
I am a woman
reaching out to others
making a difference in myself
my family
community
church and the world
I am empowering myself
to empower others
I am struggling to accept my anger
and use it to gain strength, confidence,
courage, and intimacy with others
I am a woman
who sees the interconnectedness of all human beings
who values the unique gifts of all
I am a woman who leads and follows
who accepts responsibility for myself
and the choices I make
Yes, I am a woman
who sees each day as a new beginning
a chance to grow in self, love and service
I am a woman
born of God
I am a woman
born of love
And I can be
All that I am
- Ms. Katherine Tyler Scott, in Women's Uncommon Prayer Book
Monday, October 12, 2009
Ministerial Formation
Mondays are always a challenge, and seem to be more so now that I work on Saturdays and Sundays. Plus I'm doing this gymnastics booster club volunteer thing that I *swore* last year I wouldn't do again...but it's been easier this year! Thank the heavens for email.
Today has been surprisingly productive though. The girls got up on time, did their chores and we got to spend a whole hour on Spanish vocab and conversation today. It was SO fun! What was ironic was that we were learning "classroom" words - chalk, chalkboard, flag, desk, etc. As we sat in front of the woodstove and snuggled and did flashcards ;).
Even Jude and Lucy learned the alphabet in Spanish! Fun times, peeps.
I am very much looking forward to reading week at school. Excel spreadsheet or no, I am having a hard time carving out enough reading time. My husband is now resentful of both spiritual practice time AND reading time. Wheee! My pastoral care class starts this week too, so I expect the reading to practically double, because it's a condensed, half-semester, full credit class. Sleep is totally overrated, I know. But complaining aside (was I complaining?), I *love* all the readings I'm doing, even the Old Testament, which is finally becoming an accessible narrative to me personally, and helping me to put a lot of cultural/religious things in perspective.
My site work at the Center for Youth is awesome, people. I adore my site supervisor. She has a good sense of humor, and is excellent about putting up with all my questions. I imagine there will be new kids there next week, so new opportunities and challenges and stories to learn about. I really need to start looking at my learning contract and figuring it out. It's challenging to think about what I need to learn here as part of formation, because I did this work professionally. I am trying to think of different angles, and how to best serve there, while at the same time, allowing them to use my skills and resources that I come there with.
Every day, I find new pieces of ministerial formation that I am facing - spiritual, family, academic, sociological, relational, community, political. It's awe-inspiring how this program is forcing us to face all of life and transform into someone totally different (again). I also am amazed at how thoughtful the program is at different levels in engaging me to face the big and little questions of life. I am really anxious to meet with my covenant group next week - I am having a hard time being geographically isolated from most of my classmates.
Today has been surprisingly productive though. The girls got up on time, did their chores and we got to spend a whole hour on Spanish vocab and conversation today. It was SO fun! What was ironic was that we were learning "classroom" words - chalk, chalkboard, flag, desk, etc. As we sat in front of the woodstove and snuggled and did flashcards ;).
Even Jude and Lucy learned the alphabet in Spanish! Fun times, peeps.
I am very much looking forward to reading week at school. Excel spreadsheet or no, I am having a hard time carving out enough reading time. My husband is now resentful of both spiritual practice time AND reading time. Wheee! My pastoral care class starts this week too, so I expect the reading to practically double, because it's a condensed, half-semester, full credit class. Sleep is totally overrated, I know. But complaining aside (was I complaining?), I *love* all the readings I'm doing, even the Old Testament, which is finally becoming an accessible narrative to me personally, and helping me to put a lot of cultural/religious things in perspective.
My site work at the Center for Youth is awesome, people. I adore my site supervisor. She has a good sense of humor, and is excellent about putting up with all my questions. I imagine there will be new kids there next week, so new opportunities and challenges and stories to learn about. I really need to start looking at my learning contract and figuring it out. It's challenging to think about what I need to learn here as part of formation, because I did this work professionally. I am trying to think of different angles, and how to best serve there, while at the same time, allowing them to use my skills and resources that I come there with.
Every day, I find new pieces of ministerial formation that I am facing - spiritual, family, academic, sociological, relational, community, political. It's awe-inspiring how this program is forcing us to face all of life and transform into someone totally different (again). I also am amazed at how thoughtful the program is at different levels in engaging me to face the big and little questions of life. I am really anxious to meet with my covenant group next week - I am having a hard time being geographically isolated from most of my classmates.
Wednesday, September 30, 2009
A Balancing Act
Is it Wednesday already?
I had a productive and validating meeting with my spiritual director today. We talked through my experiences with my career assessment (and it reminded me that haven't received my report yet...) and my Meadville Lombard orientation. We talked about integration and how I'm living my faith through my life, and how many wonderful interconnections there are.
We also talked about how it's a little scary to feel *so* right and how that's a good thing.
We spent quite a bit of time talking about what's going on in my marriage, and that was really helpful. I just got a note from the UUA that there is money available for spousal counseling associated with ministry issues and I'm considering looking into that. There is a local therapist who works with ministers/seminarians and spouses but she doesn't take insurance so we haven't been able to pursue that.
But overall, things are going better. I think he just needed to air his concerns and be heard, and I am trying to do that an also validate the fact that I am busy and unavailable a lot of the time right now (his mother told me that I had abandoned her, very angrily, this weekend), so it's not just him. I feel like he's much more supportive and finding his own balance in all of this. And I'm trying to return the favor as much as possible.
School is going well, although there are a few things that are frustrating with some communication lapses. I'm actively trying to resolve those issues, but not getting very far.
Work is also going well; it's calmed down a lot now that the school year has started and the classrooms are almost together. My boss is breathing again, and so am I. And it's so energizing to see how excited the kids and teachers are about the workshop rotation model (K to 5). Now if only my Kindergartner would go to class! My almost 3 yo went last week, which was a major coup that I hope to keep repeating.
Facilitation of my two groups is starting next week and I am excited and thrilled and honored all at the same time. I have 8 kids signed up for my Teen Group and sent out the guide and readings a few days ago. Woohoo! I need to make some follow up calls and get connected to the kids individually.
What else...my own kids are doing OK - falling into some sort of routine. Working on organizational skills for the 10 yo. Working on more independence for the 5 yo. Dealing with some burgeoning separation anxiety with the 2.75 year old. Homeschooling activities are getting into gear. Our Waldorf program is ROCKING THE HOUSE this year! I am so psyched about the kids' classes and my 1:1 time with Lucy!
OK, must run off to the gym and studying and some social time with my best friend.
I had a productive and validating meeting with my spiritual director today. We talked through my experiences with my career assessment (and it reminded me that haven't received my report yet...) and my Meadville Lombard orientation. We talked about integration and how I'm living my faith through my life, and how many wonderful interconnections there are.
We also talked about how it's a little scary to feel *so* right and how that's a good thing.
We spent quite a bit of time talking about what's going on in my marriage, and that was really helpful. I just got a note from the UUA that there is money available for spousal counseling associated with ministry issues and I'm considering looking into that. There is a local therapist who works with ministers/seminarians and spouses but she doesn't take insurance so we haven't been able to pursue that.
But overall, things are going better. I think he just needed to air his concerns and be heard, and I am trying to do that an also validate the fact that I am busy and unavailable a lot of the time right now (his mother told me that I had abandoned her, very angrily, this weekend), so it's not just him. I feel like he's much more supportive and finding his own balance in all of this. And I'm trying to return the favor as much as possible.
School is going well, although there are a few things that are frustrating with some communication lapses. I'm actively trying to resolve those issues, but not getting very far.
Work is also going well; it's calmed down a lot now that the school year has started and the classrooms are almost together. My boss is breathing again, and so am I. And it's so energizing to see how excited the kids and teachers are about the workshop rotation model (K to 5). Now if only my Kindergartner would go to class! My almost 3 yo went last week, which was a major coup that I hope to keep repeating.
Facilitation of my two groups is starting next week and I am excited and thrilled and honored all at the same time. I have 8 kids signed up for my Teen Group and sent out the guide and readings a few days ago. Woohoo! I need to make some follow up calls and get connected to the kids individually.
What else...my own kids are doing OK - falling into some sort of routine. Working on organizational skills for the 10 yo. Working on more independence for the 5 yo. Dealing with some burgeoning separation anxiety with the 2.75 year old. Homeschooling activities are getting into gear. Our Waldorf program is ROCKING THE HOUSE this year! I am so psyched about the kids' classes and my 1:1 time with Lucy!
OK, must run off to the gym and studying and some social time with my best friend.
Sunday, August 30, 2009
Gray
It feels like autumn already. It's supposed to get below 50F tomorrow night, and it's been gray and cool with intermittent rain and sun all week. We need to get our wood and stove ready, and I still have to paint the porch and get the window sills on the east side of the house stripped and painted.
Then it will be time to get the cold weather clothes out for the kids, which is a 2 day project at best. My calendar for September is, yes, exciting, but perhaps a tad overwhelming when I factor in all the cold-weather preparation.
Today it was finally sunny and gorgeous. I got out with the dog for a super long walk this morning and am tackling a schedule of homeschool lessons with the older girls. Jude had a lovely visit from his "kindergarten" Lilac Children's Garden waldorf program teacher this morning. During which I tripped over our Learning Tower and think I fractured my little toe. Again.
Tomorrow at long last I leave for Chicago. I can't wait! I'm meeting my sister and nephew at the airport, get my keycard for my housing and hit orientation full speed ahead! Today I have a final interview for my "internship" community component this year. I hope it goes well; it could also offer me extra work hours for pay.
The baby's sleeping, so i'm off to tackle chores for 45 minutes before I leave. Soren started back to the gym this week so I won't be home till 10 and have to finish packing!
Then it will be time to get the cold weather clothes out for the kids, which is a 2 day project at best. My calendar for September is, yes, exciting, but perhaps a tad overwhelming when I factor in all the cold-weather preparation.
Today it was finally sunny and gorgeous. I got out with the dog for a super long walk this morning and am tackling a schedule of homeschool lessons with the older girls. Jude had a lovely visit from his "kindergarten" Lilac Children's Garden waldorf program teacher this morning. During which I tripped over our Learning Tower and think I fractured my little toe. Again.
Tomorrow at long last I leave for Chicago. I can't wait! I'm meeting my sister and nephew at the airport, get my keycard for my housing and hit orientation full speed ahead! Today I have a final interview for my "internship" community component this year. I hope it goes well; it could also offer me extra work hours for pay.
The baby's sleeping, so i'm off to tackle chores for 45 minutes before I leave. Soren started back to the gym this week so I won't be home till 10 and have to finish packing!
Friday, August 28, 2009
The excitement is building
Things are getting very exciting around here. I'm gearing up for a crazy, crazy September, but I'm ready for it.
I travel to Meadville Lombard next week for orientation. I've already got my first assignment for one of my classes, and I worked out my pastoral care class at St. Bernard's for the second half of the semester.
Things are rolling with the Teen Soul Matters group, and my friend Kelly is going to co-facilitate it with me. There's a lovely intro to his new consulting ministry position here. I'm also getting ready for the Wellspring retreat and sessions, and am rereading A Hidden Wholeness by Parker Palmer in preparation.
I'm back at work with the RE program and our new DRE, Sheila. Things are busy but manageable and will be able to telecommute for a chunk of it, which is a huge relief in terms of childcare and travel time/expense.
The kids are getting geared up for another (home)school year. I've yet to find out about gymnastics times, but hopefully soon. We also are trying to tie up all the loose ends of doctor appointments and such with my hand/wrist problems, Soren's GI issues, Emma's endocrinology, and Jude's warts and well-child checkup. i have spent more time at the doctor's with everyone this summer than EVER cumulatively I think!
Off to update my resume, my reading list and shower at some point!
I've also been following the "covenant" discussion posted over at Peacebang's site and other places and am enjoying the opportunity to start thinking like a student/theologian rather than just mom mode ;).
I travel to Meadville Lombard next week for orientation. I've already got my first assignment for one of my classes, and I worked out my pastoral care class at St. Bernard's for the second half of the semester.
Things are rolling with the Teen Soul Matters group, and my friend Kelly is going to co-facilitate it with me. There's a lovely intro to his new consulting ministry position here. I'm also getting ready for the Wellspring retreat and sessions, and am rereading A Hidden Wholeness by Parker Palmer in preparation.
I'm back at work with the RE program and our new DRE, Sheila. Things are busy but manageable and will be able to telecommute for a chunk of it, which is a huge relief in terms of childcare and travel time/expense.
The kids are getting geared up for another (home)school year. I've yet to find out about gymnastics times, but hopefully soon. We also are trying to tie up all the loose ends of doctor appointments and such with my hand/wrist problems, Soren's GI issues, Emma's endocrinology, and Jude's warts and well-child checkup. i have spent more time at the doctor's with everyone this summer than EVER cumulatively I think!
Off to update my resume, my reading list and shower at some point!
I've also been following the "covenant" discussion posted over at Peacebang's site and other places and am enjoying the opportunity to start thinking like a student/theologian rather than just mom mode ;).
Tuesday, March 31, 2009
Just like Jo March
...my mind is rumpled today. I had an argument (a Real Live (tm) Argument) with one of my best friends today, and walked away feeling like I am a Rotten Parent (tm) for daring to make choices that don't put my teenager's social needs first on my list of priorities. And not to mention that I'm blaming everyone else for my daughter's feelings and I should take full responsibility for them and go even further beyond the call of duty to make her social life perfect.
That's probably not exactly what she said, but mind, that's how I said I felt at the end of the conversation. Looking back on it honestly, she had some good feedback mixed in there, but (Karen, are you listening?), about 30 minutes into the conversation, in which I kept getting more and more frustrated because she wasn't getting what I was saying at all, for a variety of reason, I yelled, "I don't want to hear your solutions! I don't want to hear your scenarios! What I need from you as a friend is for you listen to my pain and to the fact that my kid is hurting and to just validate that!"
And then she didn't. She said some other things that really hurt my feelings even more and were totally off target IMO, and I hugged her and said I loved her, and we moved on. Man, I'm sorry for ever doing that to my own friends. It sucks. As I get better at really listening, it is really hard when I'm not listened to. Understandable, but harder.
This all has to do with inclusion, this argument. We move in a small homeschooling community, with small circles that often intersect and shift and move, and my daughter is in between circles right now, because there has been a shift from all-age activities that are family-inclusive, to "teen" activities with age cut-offs (that are a year older than she is) and she feeling intentionally excluded and is hurt. There are a bunch of reasons I can think of (that are all UNintentional) why this is happening, but it doesn't matter. It hurts.
And I'm in a place with big kids and little kids, where I stretch myself and my littles very thin at times in order to make sure my olders get to have fun and participate in enriching activities. I feel like my friend told me that I wasn't stretching enough and it hit every button for me in terms of how mothers of young children are not well supported. It also felt like she felt like we were being excluded because we choose to live 45 minutes away in order to be away from the city and work toward more sustainable living (the only other place we could afford to buy a house is IN the city, an environment that sucked the soul out of me).
It's like she was holding on to resentments about some of my choices about parenting, homeschooling, inclusion and lifestyle, and dumped them all on me in one fell swoop.
So my mind is rumpled. And my daughter is still hurting. I'm sad and don't understand why this shift has happened in the kids' friendships. What I really don't understand is that it seems to be spearheaded by the parents, not by the kids, who seem to be just fine with including everyone for most things. Everyone always raves about how likable, fun, sweet and polite my daughter is - so why can't the adults involved see how their hangups about ageism are hurting her (and others)?
At least E doesn't seem to think I'm the culprit ;). She loves where we live - and she loves her friends. She loves visiting - and she would love to have more visitors. She loves her siblings - and she loves some big kid time. She loves kids of all ages - and she loves adults of all ages. She is as stymied as I am.
Anyway, enough. I'm just trying to find some order in all these questions, but I think I'll just have to wait and think, and plan more one one one get togethers rather than the group events we usually attend (for family unity and sanity sake). I can't wait till summer. We're going to hunker down and garden and swim and read and be together. So there.
And I'm going to work really hard at being a better listener, and to forgive my friend for not getting me, and to try to understand her intentions, and to just try to be more inclusive myself and maybe it will be a fad that will catch on!
That's probably not exactly what she said, but mind, that's how I said I felt at the end of the conversation. Looking back on it honestly, she had some good feedback mixed in there, but (Karen, are you listening?), about 30 minutes into the conversation, in which I kept getting more and more frustrated because she wasn't getting what I was saying at all, for a variety of reason, I yelled, "I don't want to hear your solutions! I don't want to hear your scenarios! What I need from you as a friend is for you listen to my pain and to the fact that my kid is hurting and to just validate that!"
And then she didn't. She said some other things that really hurt my feelings even more and were totally off target IMO, and I hugged her and said I loved her, and we moved on. Man, I'm sorry for ever doing that to my own friends. It sucks. As I get better at really listening, it is really hard when I'm not listened to. Understandable, but harder.
This all has to do with inclusion, this argument. We move in a small homeschooling community, with small circles that often intersect and shift and move, and my daughter is in between circles right now, because there has been a shift from all-age activities that are family-inclusive, to "teen" activities with age cut-offs (that are a year older than she is) and she feeling intentionally excluded and is hurt. There are a bunch of reasons I can think of (that are all UNintentional) why this is happening, but it doesn't matter. It hurts.
And I'm in a place with big kids and little kids, where I stretch myself and my littles very thin at times in order to make sure my olders get to have fun and participate in enriching activities. I feel like my friend told me that I wasn't stretching enough and it hit every button for me in terms of how mothers of young children are not well supported. It also felt like she felt like we were being excluded because we choose to live 45 minutes away in order to be away from the city and work toward more sustainable living (the only other place we could afford to buy a house is IN the city, an environment that sucked the soul out of me).
It's like she was holding on to resentments about some of my choices about parenting, homeschooling, inclusion and lifestyle, and dumped them all on me in one fell swoop.
So my mind is rumpled. And my daughter is still hurting. I'm sad and don't understand why this shift has happened in the kids' friendships. What I really don't understand is that it seems to be spearheaded by the parents, not by the kids, who seem to be just fine with including everyone for most things. Everyone always raves about how likable, fun, sweet and polite my daughter is - so why can't the adults involved see how their hangups about ageism are hurting her (and others)?
At least E doesn't seem to think I'm the culprit ;). She loves where we live - and she loves her friends. She loves visiting - and she would love to have more visitors. She loves her siblings - and she loves some big kid time. She loves kids of all ages - and she loves adults of all ages. She is as stymied as I am.
Anyway, enough. I'm just trying to find some order in all these questions, but I think I'll just have to wait and think, and plan more one one one get togethers rather than the group events we usually attend (for family unity and sanity sake). I can't wait till summer. We're going to hunker down and garden and swim and read and be together. So there.
And I'm going to work really hard at being a better listener, and to forgive my friend for not getting me, and to try to understand her intentions, and to just try to be more inclusive myself and maybe it will be a fad that will catch on!
Tuesday, January 13, 2009
Proud
I was very proud of myself. I had a conversation in which I admitted my desire to be judgmental and directive before I even started and pointed out that I really didn't want to do that, and I think I mostly succeeded!
I also pulled all my tax stuff together (except for what hasn't come in the mail yet), and am ready to start that, since I have to fill out grant/scholarship application stuff Very Soon.
Tom got a new van today - did I mention that his work van died? Yeah, isn't that great timing? Anyway, it's a Ford E-350 3/4 ton van, and I will have to drive it. It is to shudder.
On Sunday I got to go to a homeschool winter picnic/sledding party and spend the afternoon with some of my very favorite friends! This is a fun picture of them - and one of Jude, doing his best Bill the Cat impersonation.
Monday, November 24, 2008
Media Project II
This is my second media project for class. Better heard with headphones, as audio is poor.
I just realized I have an 8 page paper to write as well, so thought I better get this done early!
It was fun to look through all the photos and just see how much we DO all the time!
Saturday, November 8, 2008
Visiting Seminary
I had an opportunity to attend a student orientation at CRCDS this weekend. I was not the token UU there, which was nice - there was at least one other UU there, someone who has been to the UU, and there are three UU students there (out of about 100, 3% isn't too bad!).
I felt like my faith was very respected; of course, the school is Christian, so there was a lot of mental filtering going on for me, but out of the whole conference, I enjoyed the worship and prayers services, as well as the workshop/class we got to attend best. The prospective students spent a lot of time together, and they fed us well.
They had some good suggestions for financial aid as well - loans, grants, scholarships, and funding for tuition or even just books from your local congregation. They said that one student even had family and friends donated to her account before she even started school and she started out with several thousand dollars! (I'm open to that, for the record).
I so, so, so wish I could go to the prospective student conference at Meadville Lombard next week. I am really wanting to find out more details about the modified residency program, intensives, and how that works for students who are doing it. I want to see the actual space, meet some professors and staff, and see how it feels in comparison to CRCDS.
Positives about CRCDS is proximity, and in-person class attendance - this is also a bit of a negative, as they don't offer any online coursework, and it would mean evening classes and/or much juggling at least one day a week for childcare. I really liked all the staff and faculty that I met. I had some interesting conversations with current and prospective students. And I felt really good about my ability to articulate the UU faith and my own position within it. I had one man almost haunt me and asked me many, many questions.
I also had several very interesting discussions about homeschooling, faith, and values. In other news, I should really be working on my paper that is due tomorrow, because I have written 3 paragraphs of a 10 page paper, Tom is working till 3 a.m., and I have plans to go to church tomorrow. Ahem.
I felt like my faith was very respected; of course, the school is Christian, so there was a lot of mental filtering going on for me, but out of the whole conference, I enjoyed the worship and prayers services, as well as the workshop/class we got to attend best. The prospective students spent a lot of time together, and they fed us well.
They had some good suggestions for financial aid as well - loans, grants, scholarships, and funding for tuition or even just books from your local congregation. They said that one student even had family and friends donated to her account before she even started school and she started out with several thousand dollars! (I'm open to that, for the record
I so, so, so wish I could go to the prospective student conference at Meadville Lombard next week. I am really wanting to find out more details about the modified residency program, intensives, and how that works for students who are doing it. I want to see the actual space, meet some professors and staff, and see how it feels in comparison to CRCDS.
Positives about CRCDS is proximity, and in-person class attendance - this is also a bit of a negative, as they don't offer any online coursework, and it would mean evening classes and/or much juggling at least one day a week for childcare. I really liked all the staff and faculty that I met. I had some interesting conversations with current and prospective students. And I felt really good about my ability to articulate the UU faith and my own position within it. I had one man almost haunt me and asked me many, many questions.
I also had several very interesting discussions about homeschooling, faith, and values. In other news, I should really be working on my paper that is due tomorrow, because I have written 3 paragraphs of a 10 page paper, Tom is working till 3 a.m., and I have plans to go to church tomorrow. Ahem.
Friday, September 5, 2008
Wellspring
I've been trying to get time to post about this, but I was very cranky and busy yesterday, and had to finish an essay, do my personal journaling, and start reading for school, which starts in two days.
Wellspring starts up in a couple of weeks, and I contacted two people on the list for spiritual directors. I never heard back from one of them (?!), but the other one and I met on Tuesday morning, and it was a great fit. Her name is Ann, and she's also a therapist, so it's a great mix, because I think that spiritual deepening for me is also going to be a deepening of the personal healing I've been doing for years.
My assignment for this month is to see "God" in the small, everyday things. Some of my personal goals are to work on the concepts of forgiveness, compassion (for myself and others), thoughtfulness, patience, transparency, and trying to see where the universe is leading me this year - what is my purpose in Wellspring this year? Keeping the doors and windows wide open to what will come.
The end result for me is integration of my values, my living, my parenting, my "right" relations with family and friends and the larger world. But the journey is the important thing, and I need to keep my eyes on the here and now while remaining open to the twistings of the path that I'm on.
Last night I went to the parent meeting for the homeschool Waldorf program that my kids attend. This is our fifth year, and I have not ever really allowed myself to feel the deep joy and peace that runs through the teachers and the rituals there. In my defense, I have had a baby or toddler since the girls started, and I have mostly been focused on getting through the annual festivals and rituals without someone freaking out ;), but last night, I was very focused on what the teachers were bringing to the room, and I could feel the love and the peace. God (I am not really comfortable with this word, but I haven't come up with a good one that doesn't feel false) was so present for me, and I was really able to keep myself open.
I generally despise singing, dancing, or doing any kind of agme in public, but we played a clapping game to introduce to some of the new parents one of the things the kids will do, and I was able to jump right in, laughing, with true joy in the moment - and it was very intentional and yet unexpected.
Letting my guard down feels good
Wellspring starts up in a couple of weeks, and I contacted two people on the list for spiritual directors. I never heard back from one of them (?!), but the other one and I met on Tuesday morning, and it was a great fit. Her name is Ann, and she's also a therapist, so it's a great mix, because I think that spiritual deepening for me is also going to be a deepening of the personal healing I've been doing for years.
My assignment for this month is to see "God" in the small, everyday things. Some of my personal goals are to work on the concepts of forgiveness, compassion (for myself and others), thoughtfulness, patience, transparency, and trying to see where the universe is leading me this year - what is my purpose in Wellspring this year? Keeping the doors and windows wide open to what will come.
The end result for me is integration of my values, my living, my parenting, my "right" relations with family and friends and the larger world. But the journey is the important thing, and I need to keep my eyes on the here and now while remaining open to the twistings of the path that I'm on.
Last night I went to the parent meeting for the homeschool Waldorf program that my kids attend. This is our fifth year, and I have not ever really allowed myself to feel the deep joy and peace that runs through the teachers and the rituals there. In my defense, I have had a baby or toddler since the girls started, and I have mostly been focused on getting through the annual festivals and rituals without someone freaking out ;), but last night, I was very focused on what the teachers were bringing to the room, and I could feel the love and the peace. God (I am not really comfortable with this word, but I haven't come up with a good one that doesn't feel false) was so present for me, and I was really able to keep myself open.
I generally despise singing, dancing, or doing any kind of agme in public, but we played a clapping game to introduce to some of the new parents one of the things the kids will do, and I was able to jump right in, laughing, with true joy in the moment - and it was very intentional and yet unexpected.
Letting my guard down feels good
Monday, August 4, 2008
Faith in Action
I posted before about my epiphany that I am homeschooling for religious reasons. Being a homeschooler automatically puts my family in the minority - out of the mainstream. So what I can't understand is why in what is already a minority group, some homeschoolers create more divisions. I had the opportunity to meet a homeschooling family this weekend, and they live within biking distance for the kids - they have several girls that my girls would love to get to know, I'm sure.
Unfortunately, the conversation was stilted and puncuated by a clear desire to see if were the "right" kind of homeschoolers. What church do we go to? Nope, never heard of that one. Do you belong to LEAH? Nope. RAHA. Invited me to check out LEAH. Unfortunately, they don't welcome non-Christian homeschoolers.
It's very frustrating - as a spiritual person, I adhere to most fundamental morals that are present in the major religions (with a few personal exceptions, as a good UU). But despite the fact that I am a good person, some people will be suspicious of me, solely because I am not a Christian. Throwing the baby out with the bathwater, that.
Caveat: I know that this is not universal behavior for all Christians, homeschoolers or not, but it happens often enough. I have to wonder how that suspiciousness and protectiveness embodies Christianity? I am sure that these people are wonderful! But I will most likely not have the opportunity to find out just how wonderful, because of their fear of anything outside of their faith.
It's a loss for me, for them, and for all of our children. A little more unity would be a wonderful thing. I am going to keep reaching out to this family, regardless. I hope that we can build bridges across the differences in our faith. That will be my own faith in action.
Unfortunately, the conversation was stilted and puncuated by a clear desire to see if were the "right" kind of homeschoolers. What church do we go to? Nope, never heard of that one. Do you belong to LEAH? Nope. RAHA. Invited me to check out LEAH. Unfortunately, they don't welcome non-Christian homeschoolers.
It's very frustrating - as a spiritual person, I adhere to most fundamental morals that are present in the major religions (with a few personal exceptions, as a good UU). But despite the fact that I am a good person, some people will be suspicious of me, solely because I am not a Christian. Throwing the baby out with the bathwater, that.
Caveat: I know that this is not universal behavior for all Christians, homeschoolers or not, but it happens often enough. I have to wonder how that suspiciousness and protectiveness embodies Christianity? I am sure that these people are wonderful! But I will most likely not have the opportunity to find out just how wonderful, because of their fear of anything outside of their faith.
It's a loss for me, for them, and for all of our children. A little more unity would be a wonderful thing. I am going to keep reaching out to this family, regardless. I hope that we can build bridges across the differences in our faith. That will be my own faith in action.
Thursday, May 22, 2008
Communication: Ups and Downs
I have been told that I'm a "transparent" writer, but I do find it easier to put feelings and intentions down on paper than I always can on the spur of the moment in conversation. You can't hit backspace when you're talking, unfortunately.
I have recently had some tense conversations with some people who run a class that my older kids attend. One of the board members has always been someone that I had a hard time talking to, probably because we are too much alike. She's sometimes terse and can come off as abrasive, but there is still something very likable about her. She ended up being the conduit for information between the board and I, and I've spent the last couple of months feeling much like a very squeaky wheel. I was aware of speaking for myself, and also for some other parents who didn't approach the board directly, despite my strong encouragement.
Today I had the opportunity to speak to another board member, and to reflect on the conversations I have had with the first one. I'm so glad that the opportunity presented itself, because I have found a kindred spirit that I didn't expect, and worked past some preconceptions that I had. In the end, none of my concerns have been addressed to my satisfation, but I have felt validated and heard, which is more than half the battle, especially when I was engaging in criticism and had a lot of frustration. I give these women a lot of credit for putting up with me.
Again though, the opportunity has been good, and I hope that I conveyed that to them.
On the up side, I have been a bit behind on one of my classes, a communications class that is an independent study. I enjoy the text but the professor and I don't have much reason to talk often. However, she sent me this email last night that really made my day:
What a great feeling to bolster me today as I tackled that difficult conversation. It gave me the confidence that I'm on the right track, and that if I stay open and transparent, and keep my desire to learn, that I can overcome many obstacles.
I have recently had some tense conversations with some people who run a class that my older kids attend. One of the board members has always been someone that I had a hard time talking to, probably because we are too much alike. She's sometimes terse and can come off as abrasive, but there is still something very likable about her. She ended up being the conduit for information between the board and I, and I've spent the last couple of months feeling much like a very squeaky wheel. I was aware of speaking for myself, and also for some other parents who didn't approach the board directly, despite my strong encouragement.
Today I had the opportunity to speak to another board member, and to reflect on the conversations I have had with the first one. I'm so glad that the opportunity presented itself, because I have found a kindred spirit that I didn't expect, and worked past some preconceptions that I had. In the end, none of my concerns have been addressed to my satisfation, but I have felt validated and heard, which is more than half the battle, especially when I was engaging in criticism and had a lot of frustration. I give these women a lot of credit for putting up with me.
Again though, the opportunity has been good, and I hope that I conveyed that to them.
On the up side, I have been a bit behind on one of my classes, a communications class that is an independent study. I enjoy the text but the professor and I don't have much reason to talk often. However, she sent me this email last night that really made my day:
Kelly,
I stayed late to read your work. It's now 1:30 a.m., and I am so delighted
I did stay. You are doing a wonderful job. You have a clear mind, a fine
writing voice, and your reflections on the material are mostly outstanding.
Keep up your outstanding work. By the way, I find your sharing in this
course very open. It's hard to imagine that you are not an open person.
Your family arrangements are intriguing, and I am delighted to learn more
about you as you learn more about the course.
What a great feeling to bolster me today as I tackled that difficult conversation. It gave me the confidence that I'm on the right track, and that if I stay open and transparent, and keep my desire to learn, that I can overcome many obstacles.
Thursday, May 15, 2008
Spiritual Homeschooling
I woke up in the middle of the night last night and had an inner dialogue as I often do. I was imagining meeting a neighbor and the inevitable topic of schooling comes up, so I tell them that we homeschool. I don't necessarily elaborate, but then the conversation turns to career, the typical "What do you do?"
So I say that I'm a student and I'm hoping to go to grad school next year. For what? Seminary. So they assume that I homeschool for religious reasons.
And as I lay there, I realize that I do homeschool for religious reasons, not just the ones that most people would assume. I homeschool because of my values and to create a culture for my family that fits our needs.
I realized today that I need to stop talking about homeschooling for religious reasons in a negative tone. Because I'm doing it too.
I'm taking my children out of the mainstream culture and instilling them with the values of our family and what's important to us - family, attachment, social action and justice, spirituality, respect, and peace, to start with. I'm making sacrifices, both of time, career, and money, to do what I believe is best for my children. And not that other people don't. And not that school is evil. But it has issues that can't be resolved with band-aids.
I believe in being involved in the local community and working to make the schools (as they are) a better place for everyone, but I don't see them teaching values that I believe in, in a way that I agree with. And I venture to guess that that is the same argument that religious homeschoolers of every ilk would make. I just happen to be pretty liberal.
Anyway, I'm tired and not making a lot of sense, but I wanted to get my thoughts on paper, so to speak. My point: Religious homeschooling is for UUs too.
So I say that I'm a student and I'm hoping to go to grad school next year. For what? Seminary. So they assume that I homeschool for religious reasons.
And as I lay there, I realize that I do homeschool for religious reasons, not just the ones that most people would assume. I homeschool because of my values and to create a culture for my family that fits our needs.
I realized today that I need to stop talking about homeschooling for religious reasons in a negative tone. Because I'm doing it too.
I'm taking my children out of the mainstream culture and instilling them with the values of our family and what's important to us - family, attachment, social action and justice, spirituality, respect, and peace, to start with. I'm making sacrifices, both of time, career, and money, to do what I believe is best for my children. And not that other people don't. And not that school is evil. But it has issues that can't be resolved with band-aids.
I believe in being involved in the local community and working to make the schools (as they are) a better place for everyone, but I don't see them teaching values that I believe in, in a way that I agree with. And I venture to guess that that is the same argument that religious homeschoolers of every ilk would make. I just happen to be pretty liberal.
Anyway, I'm tired and not making a lot of sense, but I wanted to get my thoughts on paper, so to speak. My point: Religious homeschooling is for UUs too.
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