Anxious

I was talking to my husband last night about how unwilling our son is to try new things, but once he does, he usually likes them.

Then,this morning, I was walking and realized how stressed I am about going to this mentoring weekend - there are a lot of rituals that I'm unfamiliar with, I have been a bit frustrated at some of the disorganization, and it's a long way from home. I'm going to be away from my littles for 3 nights (a first), and I will miss my husband. I also am camping and have never camped by myself before.

I have to drive my husband's work van, which is act of faith in and of itself, and I'll be 2 hours from home. My 10 yo has been gone for a week on vacation with her dad and this extends my time away from her by 3 days.

Part of the problem for me is that I now have PMS, am fighting an emerging migrained, and my husband is acting somewhat resentful about me going (I actually missed the training weekend last month because of an argument we had about it). I have been told that we will not get a lot of sleep either, which is important to my well-being, especially in this state. So my physical and environmental issues are increasing my anxiety exponentially. I really just want to bail and stay home and work on my (safe) garden.

So I guess my son comes by his anxiety honestly! I am hoping I can embrace the activities this weekend with openness and spirit. The end result is an opportunity to mentor a teen girl for the next year, and I think that's valuable enough to deal with all the fallout this weekend is causing me.

All that said, I'm sure I will be fine once I get there. I don't like the unknown very much, but also like to think of myself as open to new things...so I am going to be intentional about being positive and hospitable to this experience.

Breathing...