Friday, October 31, 2008


I'm sitting here waiting for the baby to fall back to sleep after our drive home from her first real trick-or-treat. Being a dork, I forgot the camera, but I'll get some pics tomorrow, since it was just a witch dress and the hat got ditched very early on.

Jude, my 4 yo, was in a fever of excitement all day. "Is it time to go yet?" He ran (with ghost wings trailing) to each house with joy and excitment, tallied his candy at the end, and wanted to know when Halloween would come again. "Next year." "NO, that's too long!" "Yep, when you're five." "I don't want to trick or treat when I'm five! I want to do it again soon!"

Ahhh, all the anticipating, and then just a short hour of fun, a bag of candy, and the waiting begins again. His birthday begins a season of celebrations in September. He won't know what to do when things wind down in January. The other kids were just as excited. My 9 yo wore three different outfits for three different events today. she just couldn't decide! She started out as the Cheerless Cheerleader (what I call a Goth Cheerleader), at the farm market and hay ride we went to earlier; then she was a sheepdog for actual trick or treat, then Super Girl to visit her stepmother at Starbucks. She looked great, no matter what.

My oldest ditched us to go out with her friends. Jude said that Halloween wasn't nearly as fun without her there. Awww. But I'll bet she had a blast. She was dressed up as Arwen. She's growing up way too fast.

In between all the festivities, I got a message from my mom. She called to let me know that her cataract surgery on Tuesday had been canceled, because her X-ray from last week's ER visit showed a blockage and that she has possibly had a heart attack, and she has to have a stress test on Monday.

Then, later, I got another message that she was heading into the hospital; they found on further tests that she tested positive for a blood clot (in her lung I think), and I haven't been able to reach her on her cell, so I'm waiting till tomorrow to call the hospital.

I'm sending good energy her way. There's no point in me making a trip there with the little ones; I dont' want to expose them to hospital germs, and it's too hard to manage them in that setting and have a meaningful visit. But I'm tempted. Despite all the history between my mother and I, and her spurious (and real) health problems over the last 5+ years, it's no picnic to be alone in the hospital.

I think I might be moving closer to that healing and forgiveness that my spiritual director talked about with me.


beanjeepin said...

Awesome they had a good time. I'm floored by the last part though. I have so much respect that you've made it to that point in your relationship. It's something I should work toward, I'm sure, but don't particularly care to.

Kelly KH said...

Thanks. It's not an easy journey, and forgiveness doesn't mean forgetting, or not setting boundaries. I still have a realistic view of her potential toxicity, but her fangs aren't as bad now that she's older.

Also, I believe that putting out good energy to those who need it most is really important.