Tuesday, June 9, 2009

Writer's Block or the Sea of Ennui

First of all, I am thrilled to see that Amanda Palmer and Neil Gaiman are dating. Two of my favorite artists, surrounded by bubbly hearts really makes my day.

I am not writing. I am not reading much. I am just ... being. And watching 24. A lot. And doing housework. My daughter suggested writer's block, but honestly, I just don't care. And that's weird.

So life in bullet points:
--One of our neighborhood foxes got hit by a car, which is sad.

--Two of our neighborhood dogs have decided they dislike me, which is also weird, since I'm a "dog person."

--My first ever vegetable garden is IN and beautiful. I really need to take a picture, just to prove that I actually planted a garden. I still need to get watermelon and squash and peppers in; hopefully I'll have time to get seeds or plants tomorrow.

--We have another lawn mower. We are turning into a mower graveyard over here folks. The new to us one has a dead battery already of course. I want to sell the articulating mower, but hubby won't let me quite yet. It's growing high grass around it though in an ironic turn of events, and it needs to go.

--Our homeschool baseball season has started. My 10 year old is playing for the first time and LOVES it. I'm so excited to see her loving something other than gymnastics. My 13 yo kicks butt and runs like the wind, and even the 2 yo tries t-ball. The almost 5 yo was very excited all day until he got there and then refused to even touch a bat, wear his mitt, or approach the field. Grrr.

--Gymnastics competition season is officially over. Soren didn't place but would have had 7th in the state for bars if she hadn't touched her fingertips to the ground on dismount. Oh well! She had so much fun and ate so much candy that she threw up Sunday morning after the meet! Now she has the rest of this month to work on the next level, but then we're taking 4-6 weeks off during the summer. We've been married to gymnastics for over 10 years and it's time for a short break for all of our sanity.

--After only 5 weeks, I already have 3500 miles on my car and get to get my first oil change tomorrow morning Very Early (tm). If I went to bed right now, I'd get 7 hours, barely enough sleep.

--I'm trying to do all the prep work for my career assessment, and after finishing most of the autobiography last week, couldn't find the file today and still can't find it. I am Very Upset to have to redo it.

--I got into an online class that I desperately wanted to take and found a pastoral care class locally that fits my schedule. Now if I could just find out about financial aid...I am having a hard time wrapping my head around figuring it all out. It's stressful.

--Wellspring is officially over. ::::sob:::: I will miss it. I am continuing my daily practice though, and hope to see my mentor next month. I am starting a youth Soul Matters group this fall with a new minister who is looking for a placement and am excited to get started.

--My part time gig in RE is up in a couple of weeks. This sucks for financial reasons, but it was the best decision for a lot of reasons. I wish I could find a part time job at the grocery store or something, just to help pay for gymnastics or books or something. Nothing is jumping out at me though.

--It's been a tough couple of weeks in the land of marital bliss but also productive in some ways. (not reproductive however! which is good). I'm reading Thich Naht Hahn's book on Anger, and it is really resonating. I wish I could put it into immediate practice, but internalizing the messages doesn't make me immediately zen-like and perfect. I wish it were that simple.

--I feel like I'm just kind of floating - spiritually aware, mentally quiet, trying to be present for the kids. Summer is almost here.

2 comments:

The Eclectic Cleric said...

Check THIS out...

Kelly KH said...

Wow! I love this sermon, and yes, ennui is exactly what I'm struggling with. The humdrum...and Thoreau reminds me that I have daily interest in drama just in my own daily spiritual practice of meditative walking and being aware of all the nuances of wildlife activity that occurs on my street.

I purposely have slowed down my own life to allow myself time to keep up with my kids...and I'm missing my own normal road race...but that's the whole point. Incorporating silence, time, tortoise-paced living is a spiritual lesson for me. I will move from ennui to ... something more meaningful once I get used to the pace.

Just about the time things pick up again in September ;)